The Nurture Assumption: Your Children are not your children

This is a quote that I came across in ‘The Nurture Assumption,’ by Judith Rich Harris. She questions the perceived wisdom in my field about the influence of parents on the growth, development, character and personality of their children. It is a fascinating read in which she questions the validity of much of the research underpinning childhood development that we take for granted. If you get a chance have a read. If not here are a couple of links to web pages that give a taster:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

Kahlik Gibran